A Lesson From Miss Utah

Hey y'all! 

(that's my caption for this picture)

Listening to the infamous response to the question last night on the Miss USA Pageant left me cringing thinking...no matter how much we prepare, there's always a time in life that we will face a Miss Utah moment.  The pain, embarrassment, and shock is all temporary, but the way we handle the fall-out afterwards is really what will define us.  And not the way we make jokes about it to cover it up, but the way we handle it internally.  The way we indulge our failure vs. letting it go.

A long time ago I tried out for a dance company that I had no business walking in the door of to begin with.  The experience is a blur because I mentally blocked out the embarrassment.  I can't even say for sure that I did one part of any of the dances correctly, or for that matter, even moved at all (Nicole, perhaps you remember?).  My week long dream of becoming a famous ballerina came to an abrupt end, but I survived, and it never really mattered.  Of course I have had plenty of embarrassment since said dance try-out, but this experience came to mind pretty quickly when I started typing.  I mean...put yourself in Miss Utah's shoes for a minute -- imagine you have spent the past 10+ years of your life practicing, competing, losing, practicing, competing, losing, practicing, competing, finally WINNING!, making it to the moment you dreamed of, walking to the podium of hope, only to blow it.  Mumble out something about education and blow everything you worked so hard for, dreamed of, had in your hands.  The fact she finished third runner-up even after that proves she must have had scores at the top.  And now for the rest of her life, that question will replay in her mind like a bad song, stealing her happiness every. single. time.

Compared to what many have/will be dealt in the way of life challenges, this is a minor thing.  But it is a good reminder that we can prepare all we want and at some point, it won't make any difference that we did.  The fall will be hard, sharp, and painful.  It will be the "worst moment of my life" for a hot minute until the sting wears off.  But then it's over, and the pain always fades.  ALWAYS.  I hope that Miss Utah has been able to resist the tendency to relive the failure over and over again today, because for some reason, that's what we like to do with our failure.  Think about it while we dry our hair, let it rob us of our confidence when we are about to face a new challenge, steal our joy when something exciting is taking place...

Tough break, Utah.  But, thankfully life goes on.

The Changing Seasons

Something jumped out of my daily devotional yesterday that stuck with me.  It also made me feel better about my frequent hobby/interest/thought change (Read: Reason I decide not to go to the gym).

"Something can be right for you in one season of your life, and not right at all in another season.  Follow your heart, and you will accomplish a lot of fruitful things and still have energy left over to enjoy the fruit of your labor." - Joyce Meyer

Isn't that beautiful? Doesn't that just give you a perfect excuse for anytime you decide to abandon something?

No.  It doesn't.  But read on anyways.

I can be a little "all over the board" with things.  Poor Brian, just trying to keep up with where I am going with something.  For example, our text exchange yesterday:

Me: Can I name my bracket, Baracket Obeatdown?
Me: Remind me to tell you about a dream I had last night
Me: Also, remind me to tell you about a new sex plan (not related to dream, sorry)
Me: I want to get a trail mix with M&M's

I literally typed all those things one after the other before he had a chance to respond to any of them.  Sorry for the TMI, but it's a good plan that I will share on here sometime for married people who tend to be busy.  I also do this on the topic of children often.  One day I will look at Brian and say, "maybe I am ready to have a baby?" And the next day, I will contemplate not having children ever and instead traveling to Africa to teach for long periods of time.

"What do you think, I'm some kind of crazy person??"

I'm not.  At least I am pretty confident it is more attributed to my mind working in a million directions at one time.  Which is why I sometimes forget to buy return flights home (last week).

But where was I going with this? Oh yes, knowing what is right for us in a particular season of our lives.  And being okay with letting go of something that isn't right for us anymore.  I thought blogging was becoming that for me.  I just woke up one morning and though, ehh I think I am done with it.  A few months away and look where I am right now...blogging.  We don't want to use the above wisdom as a crutch for abandoning people or important things in our lives.  This is not a reason to leave a marriage, a child, or a pet.  We make commitments and we are called to keep those commitments made to others and most importantly, to the Lord.  But, we can let ourselves off the hook on the things that don't necessarily matter too much.  We can be okay with relinquishing our volunteer positions, executive titles at work, teaching Sunday school.  Just because it was your calling at one point, does not mean it is a permanent calling.  God is leading your heart in another direction for a reason.  And we have to give up the good things in our lives to make room for the great things.  We have use the many seasons of change in our lives, in order to grow and develop into who we are meant to be.  

So the take-away? Think of yourself like hair.  Did you know your hair texture changes every 5-7 years? The length is changing all the time, the color changes eventually (mine may or may not already be turning gray), and we lose about 100 hairs a day.  Our hair adapts and we should too.  Embrace the changing seasons of your life and welcome the new adventures, not being afraid to leave the old ones behind :)



Please join me...

Each post of mine for the next few weeks is going to conclude with asking for prayers for Pastor Saeed Abedini. He is an American citizen imprisoned in Iran while over there building an orphanage.  He was arrested for his faith and is suffering great trials while there.  Please take a minute to ask for God's will over Pastor Abedini, and His wisdom and strength.

Sara's "Oh $&*#, company is coming!" Guide to Housecleaning Quickly

Hello, Hello you beautiful people you! I have missed y'all.  

Am I back to blogging? Perhaps.  We shall see.  I have been pretty busy being jobless so...no promises.  However I was quickly cleaning the other day and thought I should share my "company is coming in 6 minutes" guide to housecleaning. I tried to make it 5 minutes, but that's pretty hard so I hope you have 6.

Qualifications you ask?

Relevant Experience:
OCD, 1984-Present
Use to have friends...who would come over, 2007-2012
Professional apartment / home cleaner, 2000-2002

You just got the call:

"Hey! I'm in the neighborhood, have never seen your place and wanted to stop by!"

This used to happen to me often in NYC where our "neighborhood" held a million people. I don't deal with this anymore (read: no one ever drops by in AZ) but I thought I could provide some tips so you don't find yourself making excuses and missing a fun visit.

Step 1: Don't panic, tell them, "yes! I'd love that! When can I expect you?"

Step 2: While waiting for response, immediately run to your room, grabbing all the junk in your living room on the way and throw it in your closet. Put bra, blush, and mascara on, while quickly brushing teeth. This should take you no more than 2.5 minutes total.  If it takes longer, practice running on treadmill or join cross country team. 

Step 3: Run to bathroom your guests would use. 10 seconds unless you live in a mansion.

Step 4: PUT GLOVES ON.  Can't stress this enough, ladies...save your hands! Then, clean guest bathroom. You should always have these things on hand and under the sink for easy access:

I like to clean with vodka sometimes.  A good drink makes it a lot more enjoyable.  It is also a wonderful cleaner, sterilizes well, and is cheaper than household brands.  Don't use Grey Goose, the cheap stuff works great.  But for this post, I am sticking with the basics -- disinfectant, glass cleaner, and toilet bowl cleaner.

Clorox wipes are the most critical quick cleaning product you will ever invest in! Perfect for sink and toilet.  Run wipe quickly over sink and seat (always check underneath). Throw some toilet bowl cleaner inside and If there are noticeable spots on the mirror grab the Windex, some toilet paper and get rid of them. This should take 3 minutes total. If it takes you longer then...wait, do you live in a fraternity house? 

I also recommend buying some disposable hand towels for guests. This way you don't need to worry about whether there is a clean towel and you can just keep these on hand. This isn't exactly very "green" of me to suggest, so maybe don't buy many?

Step 5: Do you have long black hair? if yes, glance at floor, picking up any you see and throw away. Grab the trash on your way out and empty it in kitchen trashcan. 20 seconds.

While waiting for doorbell, head to kitchen and throw any dishes on counter in dishwasher or sink and you're ready for your guest! I promise you that your house will look visitor ready :) And maybe make some lemonade if you have time.

Happy Friday!

The After Holidays/Marriage Rut

I am suffering from a bad case of the after-Christmas-back-in-Arizona-haven't-felt-like-blogging blues.  Almost 3 weeks of time with family, friends, and Christmas left me wishing it would last forever.  The only downside of our trips back home is that Brian and I transform into two ships passing in the night.  He wants to see his friends, I want to see mine.  We both want to see our mutual friends.  Commuting back and forth from Kernersville to Charlotte ends up requiring so much coordination, it becomes all we talk about.  And when we spend all our time planning, we usually get on each others' nerves, disagree, and find it easier to go our own ways instead of hash it out upstairs in our parents' homes.

The process goes something like this:

A couple of these disagreements with no resolution leaves a feeling of dislike in my heart, yet no idea what I am actually unhappy about.  Why do I let those negative thoughts resonate? Why do I seem to open myself up to the opportunity to be passive aggressive?

The aftermath is what I have affectionately nicknamed "digging".  We have to dig ourselves out of the marriage rut and remind ourselves why we like the other person.  The first step is recognizing it.  The second step is identifying it as exactly what it is...TEMPORARY.  And the third and hardest step, is working through it and kicking it out of your home.  No, not your husband, just the rut.

*Sigh*

So instead of letting myself hang out in the ditch that Brian we created, I am recognizing this cycle and nipping it in the bud.  I am letting the annoyances of 2012 go, taking a deep breath, and reminding myself that finding peace is no small feat, yet the only way to live :)

In The News Today

I have not been very good about posting so far this year, but I definitely plan to get on it once I'm back home tomorrow.  I can promise some pictures of nights on the town, Christmas morning, and I really need to recap 2012 since I have no memory of what I was doing last February-April.

Below are my favorite stories from the news today.  I'd love to hear some of yours!

1.  Princess Kate holds her clutch with two hands 48% of the time:
http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20395222_20662261,00.html


2.  Honey Boo Boo's Mom says she isn't going to spend all their money on junk:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20662185,00.html


3.  Heidi Klum shares her wisdom:
http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/heidi-klum-on-wild-and-crazy-sex-i-dress-up-sometimes-201371


4.  The other day, Brian told me that his boss use to date Savannah Guthrie from the Today show.  I thought that was interesting so I tuned in to find the story below.  You hear about people feeling forgiveness in the midst of a tragedy, but each time I hear a new tale of it, it gives me chills.  I am so bad at forgiving when I don't really feel like doing it.  Lately, I have been trying to garner a forgiving heart and feel like if these people can do it, there's really no excuse for me.  

If you can't watch the video at work, that's okay, you can read it:
http://todaynews.today.com/_news/2013/01/07/16394316-parents-who-forgave-their-daughters-killer-it-frees-us?lite

My Two Words

Oh hey, 2013.
You can stay awhile.
Especially since you are starting off with me not working and instead waking up at 10am and having tea with mom.  Still in robes, so no pictures of us this morning.

After I finish this, I will head upstairs to shower, pack, and then go visit my recently engaged BFF.  I am already thinking of ways to prolong the next few weeks.  To say I am not ready to return to work would be a huge understatement.  Yes, I have spent half of my break being lazy...but I feel like if I could just have a few more months, I could realllllly do some great things with it.  I would definitely not spend it eating chocolate and watching RHOEverywhere.  No sir.  Not one episode.

Once I have made a decision about what I want to change, I tend to overthink it, overanalyze it, and end up doing exactly what I have always done anyways.  I can spend weeks, months, and years dreaming about something only to waste all my energy and never change it at all.  It can be exhausting and leaves me with little more than a feeling of being unsettled.  Not fully enjoying the decision I made and wondering what the alternative would have been like.  This has been on my mind a lot lately as I debate what's next for me...career wise, family wise.  Is it time to pursue the next stage of life? Time to focus on something I want professionally? Do I even know what any of that looks like?

I have seen a lot of posts and did some investigating into a book that explains the "my one word" concept.  Basically it means that instead of making resolutions we find difficult to keep, choose one word that is your motto for the year.  I decided I like this.  I am still going to keep my monthly resolution plan, because it is a little more specific to some goals I have for myself (read: cook), but think I will take this project on as well.  

I couldn't decide on one word, so instead I am inventing my own "two word" concept.

A few I am toying with:

Embrace challenge.
Make changes.
Choose happiness.
Feel content.

Be joyful.
Like Arizona.
??

In order to decide on my two words of 2013, I am reaching back into my schoolin' days to pull out an old familiar enemy... the decision tree! Is that even what it was called? I don't remember but I know I despised it.
I am going to make a list of what I want to accomplish this year and use that to determine what my two words should be.

What is your plan for making 2013 count?