Thursday, April 26, 2012

Just Get Over It

Y'all, I need a lesson on forgiveness.

I. was. "wronged."
Gasp!
Say it isn't so. 

No, I was.  I actually feel pretty confident that I am in the "right" on this one, and that my feelings are justified.  But, I have made the decision not to bring it up because I don't think it's worth it in the long run. 

I sound so mature, I know.  The catch here is that even though good-me has decided not to bring it up, I still feel some bitterness and haven't really let the issue go in my head.

No, this is not my passive aggressive way of hoping said person realizes it is him/her and comes to me to discuss this.  It's not YOU! Well, it actually could be, but let's operate under the assumption that it's NOT you so that you take away my greater purpose here.  I really do not want to talk about the issue, because at the end of the day, it is petty and the logical part of me realizes that.  But since I am not going to make the uncomfortable call to discuss it, and I'm not going to send what I like to call "the roommate email" -- when one girl emails her roommates to talk about how the trash isn't being taken out, etc. and then nobody ever actually talks about the email except behind the girl who sent its back --

I have to just get the hell over it.

I'll try not to drain this and lose you in my excursiveness.  But here is what I am teaching myself:

1) Once you have decided how you are going to handle something, get on with it and get over it.  I made my decision and now the only person suffering from my dwelling is me.  Well, and Brian kinda.  And that's all the more reason to just move on to more important things -- like everything else.

2) If you are not going to share with someone how something made you feel nor enable them to know you think they owe you an apology, then you have to decide to forgive them on your own.  It's not fair for me to expect that they should just inherently know they owe me an apology (even though I always know think if the situation were reversed I would handle it differently).

3) If you do give them the chance to apologize, and they decide not to take it, then you still have to decide to forgive them on your ownFor yourself.  So that you can remain the person you are and not get lost in the loneliness of resentment.

Because let's face it -- resentment and bitterness is a lonely road.  No one else can experience your same feelings of negativity and it is a desolate path to walk.

I feel much better already :) I think forgiveness is probably the greatest gift we can give ourselves (and others) and I wish it came easier.  It's hard to give up what feels right at the moment (holding onto the anger) for something that doesn't yet feel right...but it always turns out to in the end.




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