Sunday, May 6, 2012

Home is Where the Heart is?

I get attached to things pretty easily and I use to save EVERYTHING.  My sister and I secretly worry we may appear on "Hoarders" someday.  To combat this, Brian enacted a one-in-one-out rule (which  conveniently seems to only apply to my purchases), and this has helped me eliminate some of the junk I am inclined to collect.  That, and how crazy I would look if someone had to clean out my drawers unexpectedly someday.  If I bring something new home, something old gets donated.  This, in theory, is not a bad thing.
I looked at the calendar today and realized that in less than three weeks, we become technically homeless.  Panic began to set in.  I had to close the calendar, my massive to-do list, and breathe.  And then I went back to 'Fifty Shades of Grey' which never fails to distract.
On May 24th, we are moving out of our NYC apartment and into ??????
We have no clue where. 
We do know our belongings will go to a storage unit and we will head to NC for June.  I will spend most of the month overseas for work and Brian has kindly offered to accompany me.
What a sacrifice...
There are multiple scenarios as to where home will be come July.  I'm hopeful we will have that finalized before we move, but that may or may not happen.  But that's okay because home is where the heart is, right? Our apt/house, after all, is just a “thing”.  Just a physical representation of something much greater.  And because home is where the heart is, you can just pick it on up and take it with you to the next place.  
I recognize that the greatest driver in my moments of moving-panic is my desire to keep the home I have grown so attached to. 
This, in theory, is not a bad thing.
The bad thing is what I am considering to be home. 
I get to take Brian with me. 
I get to take my furniture with me. 
I even get to bring my random junk with me (as long as Brian doesn’t throw it out when I’m not looking).
My real home is coming along with me, so why should it be scary?
I was home last weekend for a wedding and to dog-sit at my parents'. Twelve year old Dusty, was diagnosed with a neurological condition that caused his back legs to stop responding and we knew he didn't have much time left.  We spent the weekend relaxing with the dogs and trying to savor what we knew would be our last visit with our sweet family pet.
We took him on a long walk around the neighborhood and he struggled.  It was hard to watch, but he was never in physical pain, and enjoyed the fresh air as he always had.  We said goodbye to him on Sunday as we made our way out of town, leaving him with a long hug and our words of gratitude for all the joy he brought to our lives.  We gave him a bone and I left feeling like he knew it was the last time we would see each other.   

Mom & Dad returned on Sunday night and in the five hours that separated us, he officially lost the ability to walk.  They had to take him that night to be put to sleep.  I thought my parents would have another week with him.  Amazing how even when you are prepared to lose something precious, somehow there is still a way life sneaks up and throws you off your game.
Home is always changing.  My parents' home will feel different for awhile without Dusty.  But eventually everyone will adjust to the new version of home.  And we will too regardless of where it is. 
After all, home is where the heart is.


Rebecca said...

You are beautiful and so was this; well written truth.

I have lived in eight locations, that's nine moves, in the nine years since I left my parent's homes. The first few were easy because all I cared about was our new family, so I didn't care where we called "home." But the later few moves were more difficult because I was tired and longed for stability, longed for "roots." We have hit a milestone now, living in our current home now for three full years! :)

I'm excited for you and Brian in this new change, and look forward to reading how God leads your direction and provides exactly what you need when you need it, as you trust Him. <3

Laura said...

RIP Dusty 0:-)

So excited for you and Brian as you jump into this next chapter of your life! You are right in that you guys will end up exactly where you're supposed to be. I can't wait to see pictures and hear all about your work and fun travels in Europe!

Katie Tedder said...


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