Monday, June 25, 2012

My Marriage Series: Build the Right Foundation

Before I hit "publish" I asked my sister if I could title this post "Make Your Marriage a Threesome."
She said that may not be a good idea. 
A threesome is really just a group of three engaging in the same activity, so I can't imagine who wouldn't think I am clearly referring to Jesus??

But at the very heart of what I believe to be the single most important thing that a marriage should consist of, it is having Christ at the center.  And I say this for two reasons:

1) The Bible makes it clear in Ecclesiastes 4:12 -
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. 
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.


2)  If Jesus was not the foundation of mine and Brian’s marriage, we just wouldn't make it. And I have no shame at all in saying that, because there is not an ounce of me that doesn’t believe it is true.

If you try to braid your hair with two strands, it unravels.  It will not stay together and eventually pulls apart, leaving it looking wavy and ugly.  But when you braid your hair with three strands, it stays together, tightly, because the middle strand, though barely visible to the naked eye, binds it together.  The braid is a perfect illustration of marriage in many ways. 

When we love Christ and keep him #1, He gives us the capacity to love the people in our lives the way we need to. 

We are not designed to unconditionally love our spouse.  The unconditional love that God has for us is not something we are able to repeat on our own, because we are flawed and selfish.  The ability to put someone else above you, look to them to lead you through life, respect them even when they are being stupid, and love them even when you are mad, for the course of your whole life, can only be done with God. 

And I know this to be true in my own experiences. 
I have come to find that my relationship with Brian is 100% tied to how I am feeling in my relationship with Jesus. 

When I go through my spells of being lazy and not praying like I should, I see it reflected in my marriage.  When I choose to not go to God for guidance and do not put my trust in Him, it is clearly repeated with Brian.  And eventually, I'm doing what Sara wants when she feels like it, and putting all things Brian on the back burner.   
And we suffer. 
Will all marriages fail on earth if the couple does not have Jesus at the center or believe in Him? 
I don't believe so. 
I can only speak from my own experiences and say that mine would. 
But there is hope!
Because He is gracious and good and always there to help us get back on the right path when we get a little off course. 

You just have to ask Him :)


Randi Bass said...

Love this. Thanks for the guidance. We're joining a church this weekend.

Rev. Ann Self said...

Blessed to read this...and that by grace the post found its way to my attention. Hope you're doing well...sounds like it! Think of you often...Ann Self

Sara said...

Frandi! I am soooo excited for y'all! Taking ATL by storm :)

Sara said...

Thank you so much, Ann! I am blessed that you took the time to read it. You taught us so much :) Hope you and Ashley are doing well. We miss you.

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