Monday, July 9, 2012

MMS: Separate Things Stay Together

Hey there stranger!
I disappeared last week to be swept off to Bermuda by my sweet in-laws/summer roommates.

I had all these great intentions to blog while there, but poor internet connectivity combined with spending lots of QT with this little lady prevented it.

Not to mention, I clearly was very busy being cool...

playing in phone booths using a British accent.

pretending to be in trouble.


wearing jorts and chasing feeding wild roosters (I love to feed birds).

worrying more about the fly than the view.

teaching Brian how to pose in pictures.

and then how to make-out violently in pictures.

I did manage to connect for brief moments however to hear the wonderful news about my lifelong BFFFF getting engaged! Sooooo excited and check out the beautiful ring! She will kill me for posting this, but how could I not??

Speaking of marriage, I’m probably nearing the end of this series, because I am doing my best to pick topics that you may not hear frequently from others, therefore making my ramblings more worthwhile. 
Today’s is super important though...

Do Things On Your Own!
I'd like to preface this post by adding that everyone has a different threshold on how much individual time he/she needs/enjoys.  An extrovert in a marriage may need less time away from their spouse, whereas an introvert may need plenty of time to just decompress without company.  This is something Brian and I realized pretty early on when we used to get into disagreements as to what the “perfect Friday night” consisted of.  One of us wanted to watch a movie 90% of the time and the other wanted to go out equally as much.  Our solution? I would watch a movie and Brian would go out.  I would say we lean a little heavy on the stronger end of being cool with doing things apart, and I can attest to the fact that it is hard to find the perfect balance.  But since I already wrote a little at Gratefully Inspired about the importance of doing things together, I want to make sure I emphasize the other end of the spectrum as well.
It is so important to do things on your own!
And I don't necessarily mean completely on your own...I mean do things without your spouse.
Go to dinner with the girls/guys, head to the mall with your mom, or play golf with your brother.  I'm not saying that you should be watching Magic Mike every night or sending your hubby to Spearmint Rhino, but it is important to do things with other people.  You absolutely should not spend every waking minute with the person you signed up to spend your life with.  How do you remain a mystery to someone if they are with you all the time? You will undoubtedly lose some of what makes you unique if you are always with the same person.  And over time you will either be completely dependent on your hubby/wifey for everything, or worse, not really know who you are without them anymore.
As I said my teary goodbye to Brian this morning as he ventured off on his “summer of Brian” trip to Africa (I really do need to re-cap May), I was reminded of how important it is to support the person you love when they need to do something…without you.  Brian wanted to take what I have affectionately been calling his “Eat, Pray, Love” adventure before he starts work, and he selected Tanzania.  I am so glad he is choosing to hike a dangerous mountain and camp out with wild animals so that I spend weeks worried sick seek out some adventure and solitude.   

You don’t have to go to Africa to have individual time. 
But you do need to have your own little adventure from time to time, even if it just means a trip to Target without the old ball and chain.
Please join me in praying for safe travels for Bri :)
I will miss him so!


Ashley Jo Lamano said...

Lots of prayers for a safe and rewarding trip for B! And beautifully said :) I just love reading your posts and reflecting on my own relationships. xo

Denise Lopatka said...

love this post and i'm so glad you had a great trip! xox

Post a Comment