Friday, March 15, 2013

Sara's "Oh $&*#, company is coming!" Guide to Housecleaning Quickly

Hello, Hello you beautiful people you! I have missed y'all.  
Am I back to blogging? Perhaps.  We shall see.  I have been pretty busy being jobless promises.  However I was quickly cleaning the other day and thought I should share my "company is coming in 6 minutes" guide to housecleaning. I tried to make it 5 minutes, but that's pretty hard so I hope you have 6.

Qualifications you ask?

Relevant Experience:

OCD, 1984-Present
Use to have friends...who would come over, 2007-2012
Professional apartment / home cleaner, 2000-2002

You just got the call:
"Hey! I'm in the neighborhood, have never seen your place and wanted to stop by!"

This used to happen to me often in NYC where our "neighborhood" held a million people. I don't deal with this anymore (read: no one ever drops by in AZ) but I thought I could provide some tips so you don't find yourself making excuses and missing a fun visit.

Step 1: Don't panic, tell them, "yes! I'd love that! When can I expect you?"

Step 2: While waiting for response, immediately run to your room, grabbing all the junk in your living room on the way and throw it in your closet. Put bra, blush, and mascara on, while quickly brushing teeth. This should take you no more than 2.5 minutes total.  If it takes longer, practice running on treadmill or join cross country team. 

Step 3: Run to bathroom your guests would use. 10 seconds unless you live in a mansion.

Step 4: PUT GLOVES ON.  Can't stress this enough, your hands! Then, clean guest bathroom. You should always have these things on hand and under the sink for easy access:

I like to clean with vodka sometimes.  A good drink makes it a lot more enjoyable.  It is also a wonderful cleaner, sterilizes well, and is cheaper than household brands.  Don't use Grey Goose, the cheap stuff works great.  But for this post, I am sticking with the basics -- disinfectant, glass cleaner, and toilet bowl cleaner.

Clorox wipes are the most critical quick cleaning product you will ever invest in! Perfect for sink and toilet.  Run wipe quickly over sink and seat (always check underneath). Throw some toilet bowl cleaner inside and If there are noticeable spots on the mirror grab the Windex, some toilet paper and get rid of them. This should take 3 minutes total. If it takes you longer then...wait, do you live in a fraternity house? 

I also recommend buying some disposable hand towels for guests. This way you don't need to worry about whether there is a clean towel and you can just keep these on hand. This isn't exactly very "green" of me to suggest, so maybe don't buy many?

Step 5: Do you have long black hair? if yes, glance at floor, picking up any you see and throw away. Grab the trash on your way out and empty it in kitchen trashcan. 20 seconds.

While waiting for doorbell, head to kitchen and throw any dishes on counter in dishwasher or sink and you're ready for your guest! I promise you that your house will look visitor ready :) And maybe make some lemonade if you have time.


math girl said...

I blame myself for this stress. I am sorry!

Sara said...

hahaha, oh el train. i didn't clean for you. don't you feel special? miss you tons and tons xx

Post a Comment