Thursday, January 10, 2013

The After Holidays/Marriage Rut

I am suffering from a bad case of the after-Christmas-back-in-Arizona-haven't-felt-like-blogging blues.  Almost 3 weeks of time with family, friends, and Christmas left me wishing it would last forever.  The only downside of our trips back home is that Brian and I transform into two ships passing in the night.  He wants to see his friends, I want to see mine.  We both want to see our mutual friends.  Commuting back and forth from Kernersville to Charlotte ends up requiring so much coordination, it becomes all we talk about.  And when we spend all our time planning, we usually get on each others' nerves, disagree, and find it easier to go our own ways instead of hash it out upstairs in our parents' homes.

The process goes something like this:



A couple of these disagreements with no resolution leaves a feeling of dislike in my heart, yet no idea what I am actually unhappy about.  Why do I let those negative thoughts resonate? Why do I seem to open myself up to the opportunity to be passive aggressive?

The aftermath is what I have affectionately nicknamed "digging".  We have to dig ourselves out of the marriage rut and remind ourselves why we like the other person.  The first step is recognizing it.  The second step is identifying it as exactly what it is...TEMPORARY.  And the third and hardest step, is working through it and kicking it out of your home.  No, not your husband, just the rut.

*Sigh*

So instead of letting myself hang out in the ditch that Brian we created, I am recognizing this cycle and nipping it in the bud.  I am letting the annoyances of 2012 go, taking a deep breath, and reminding myself that finding peace is no small feat, yet the only way to live :)




Monday, January 7, 2013

In The News Today

I have not been very good about posting so far this year, but I definitely plan to get on it once I'm back home tomorrow.  I can promise some pictures of nights on the town, Christmas morning, and I really need to recap 2012 since I have no memory of what I was doing last February-April.

Below are my favorite stories from the news today.  I'd love to hear some of yours!


1.  Princess Kate holds her clutch with two hands 48% of the time:
http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20395222_20662261,00.html


2.  Honey Boo Boo's Mom says she isn't going to spend all their money on junk:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20662185,00.html


3.  Heidi Klum shares her wisdom:
http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/heidi-klum-on-wild-and-crazy-sex-i-dress-up-sometimes-201371


4.  The other day, Brian told me that his boss use to date Savannah Guthrie from the Today show.  I thought that was interesting so I tuned in to find the story below.  You hear about people feeling forgiveness in the midst of a tragedy, but each time I hear a new tale of it, it gives me chills.  I am so bad at forgiving when I don't really feel like doing it.  Lately, I have been trying to garner a forgiving heart and feel like if these people can do it, there's really no excuse for me.  

If you can't watch the video at work, that's okay, you can read it:
http://todaynews.today.com/_news/2013/01/07/16394316-parents-who-forgave-their-daughters-killer-it-frees-us?lite

Friday, January 4, 2013

My Two Words

Oh hey, 2013.
You can stay awhile.
Especially since you are starting off with me not working and instead waking up at 10am and having tea with mom.  Still in robes, so no pictures of us this morning.


After I finish this, I will head upstairs to shower, pack, and then go visit my recently engaged BFF.  I am already thinking of ways to prolong the next few weeks.  To say I am not ready to return to work would be a huge understatement.  Yes, I have spent half of my break being lazy...but I feel like if I could just have a few more months, I could realllllly do some great things with it.  I would definitely not spend it eating chocolate and watching RHOEverywhere.  No sir.  Not one episode.

Once I have made a decision about what I want to change, I tend to overthink it, overanalyze it, and end up doing exactly what I have always done anyways.  I can spend weeks, months, and years dreaming about something only to waste all my energy and never change it at all.  It can be exhausting and leaves me with little more than a feeling of being unsettled.  Not fully enjoying the decision I made and wondering what the alternative would have been like.  This has been on my mind a lot lately as I debate what's next for me...career wise, family wise.  Is it time to pursue the next stage of life? Time to focus on something I want professionally? Do I even know what any of that looks like?

I have seen a lot of posts and did some investigating into a book that explains the "my one word" concept.  Basically it means that instead of making resolutions we find difficult to keep, choose one word that is your motto for the year.  I decided I like this.  I am still going to keep my monthly resolution plan, because it is a little more specific to some goals I have for myself (read: cook), but think I will take this project on as well.  

I couldn't decide on one word, so instead I am inventing my own "two word" concept.
A few I am toying with:

Embrace challenge.
Make changes.
Choose happiness.
Feel content.
Be joyful.
Like Arizona.

??

In order to decide on my two words of 2013, I am reaching back into my schoolin' days to pull out an old familiar enemy... the decision tree! Is that even what it was called? I don't remember but I know I despised it.
I am going to make a list of what I want to accomplish this year and use that to determine what my two words should be.

What is your plan for making 2013 count?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

January 1, 2013 celebrates the beginning of a new year, the end of an old one, and my 1 year blogging anniversary here at B&TEA!
I can't say I am particularly sad to see 2012 go -- it brought a lot of change...some amazing times that we will remember forever, and also some sad goodbyes to loved ones.  But I think the most memorable years are the ones that contain a mixture of emotions.  Emotions that force us to grow and shape who we become.

I will be back with more tomorrow, but can't let the sun go down (it's already gone actually) without starting off the new year right.  I have decided this year to try something a little different -- I am going to have only one ongoing resolution for the year and an individual one for each month.  I am usually not at all successful at accomplishing these, so I really have nothing to lose by changing my approach.  Plus, I will save working out for February and by then the gym crowd will have thinned out.  Get it? 

I hope you ended 2012 with a bang...
and welcomed 2013 with open arms and hearts. 
HNY!


(just ignore Brian's eyes)